There is something about divorce that brings out the worst in some people. This is an unfortunate byproduct of an unhappily married couple — It is common for unhappy couples to bring their relationships issues into divorce proceedings. When one spouse is more difficult than the other, this always results in more difficult divorce proceedings in Oklahoma.
This article is here to help you gain control over your difficult spouse during a divorce, and keep you calm and collected during the process. Following these three steps could produce an easier and more successful outcome.
Rise Above
It is very easy when dealing with a difficult spouse during a divorce to stoop to their level and be difficult as well. If they choose to “fight dirty,” it only seems fair that you get too as well.
Wrong. You do not want to meet their uncooperative behavior with your unwillingness to compromise. Rise above your difficult spouse’s behavior.
“Be the bigger person” is a phrase that is commonly used in this situation. Being the bigger person means to remain respectful, follow every court order (even if your spouse is not), and do not make any false accusations. You may think you are doing the right thing by accusing your spouse of something he didn’t do, but judges are smart, and justice eventually prevails.
Don’t play games with your spouse. If you see yourself fighting for a worn-out old couch “for the principle of it,” it’s time to move on. No couch is worth your time, your divorce attorney’s time, or your sanity.
Additionally, when you have a difficult spouse during a divorce and there are children involved, often children end up getting used against the opposing spouse. Judges tend to see right through these antics and will not allow it to continue. Trust in your divorce attorney and the judge to handle the issue. Do not start using the children against your difficult spouse.
Keep a Journal
This can be a crucial step in the process when you have a difficult spouse in a divorce. Journaling all of your spouse’s actions — even if they don’t seem relevant — is very useful. Creating a document outlining your spouse’s actions and behaviors can serve as evidence later on.
For example, a difficult spouse accuses you of not continuing to pay joint bills during the divorce proceedings and demands reimbursement. You can show that you made phones calls (which are logged) to the utility company and cable company and the name of the representative you spoke to. You also will be able to submit a statement showing the bills were paid.
Additionally, once your document has credibility, you can use it to prove when your spouse didn’t show up for a scheduled visitation, if your spouse didn’t return your children on time, or your spouse’s difficult behavior during pick-up.
Always Retain Your Own Attorney
If you have a difficult spouse during a divorce and the divorce has become high-conflict, you need your own attorney. Do not attempt to resolve a high conflict case on your own. You need an advocate on your side aggressively fighting for you.
Going through a divorce alone without an advocate only works when mediation is used and the couple is generally in agreement with more elements of the divorce. The divorce should be simple and uncomplicated, as well as cooperative. If this is not your situation, you need a divorce attorney on your side.
Divorce is a serious matter than can have lasting effects for you and your children. You don’t want to try to complete a divorce on your own. Attorneys attend graduate school full-time for three years and must pass a rigorous exam to practice — Attempting to complete a divorce on your own is strongly not recommended.
Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Divorce Attorney
Consulting an attorney as soon as possible in this situation is very important in order to preserve your rights and make sure terms of your divorce settlement are fair. An attorney can help advocate on your behalf and advise you on what to expect during a high-conflict divorce proceeding.
Hiring a knowledgeable and compassionate family law attorney will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented.
Contact an experienced Tulsa family law attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma divorce process.
For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.