Oklahoma divorce information

Unfortunately parental coaching is not uncommon in many custody cases in Oklahoma. It is a difficult part of divorce and custody proceedings when one parent is not doing what is in the best interest of their child and using their child against the other parent. One of the hardest parts of a divorce attorney’s job is dealing with either their client or the opposing parent coaching their child.

Not only is it difficult for divorce attorneys and parents, but the negative effects of parental coaching of your child can last for years. One of those effects is the “alienation” of one parent from their child.

No parent wants to place their child in the middle when they suspect parental coaching — asking your child about the other parent places your child in an uncomfortable and inappropriate position. There are ways of handling parental coaching without putting your child in the middle and involving them in issues that are better kept between you, your child custody attorney, and the other parties involved.

Parental Alienation

The biggest impact of parental coaching is alienation. The simplest explanation of the definition of alienation is separating one thing from another. In the case of parental alienation, one parent attempts to separate the child from the other parent through subtle words and actions. You may not even be aware it is happening until the alienation has been happening for a while.

There are five ways parents practice alienation. The methods of alienation outlined below build on the next, becoming more and more harmful.

• Disparagement: This comes in the form of the alienating parent making negative comments about the other parent; allowing others to make negative comments about the other parent; and involving the child in the custody proceedings, often distorting how the case is progressing.
• Undermining Authority: Instead of both parents being on the same side when it comes to parenting, the alienating parent makes the other parent’s authority unimportant and that it can be ignored. The results of this type of alienation create the belief that there is a “right” way to parent and a “wrong” way.
• Parentification: This happens when the alienating parent places their child in the place of a parent, often allowing the child to make decisions that they are not ready for or mature enough to make.
• Parental Substitution: The alienating parent will attempt to replace the other parent with a new partner, family friend, or grandparent. You will often see this when a parent requires a child to call a new boyfriend “dad.”
• False Allegations: This is very common when it comes to parental coaching. Alienating parents will create false accusations to get more custody time and to keep the other parent away from the child.

Being able to spot parental alienation can be difficult at first, it is important you maintain open, honest and appropriate conversations with your child. Working with a child custody attorney helps identify the signs much sooner and address the effects before harm comes to your child.

Involving Mental Health Professionals When There Is Parental Coaching

One of the first steps you should take if you suspect parental coaching is contacting a mental health professional that specializes in children and custody cases. Make sure if parental coaching is identified by the professional, and that they are qualified to testify or submit opinions to the judge in your case.

Your child custody attorney will know the best mental health professionals to work with when parental coaching is suspected.

Talking To The Judge About Parental Coaching

When deciding to discuss your concern about parental coaching with the judge, your child custody attorney can help you prepare and make sure you are presenting yourself in a neutral capacity. It is not uncommon for parents to complain about the other parent during custody cases, it is up to the family court judge to determine if there is actual evidence that one parent is committing a wrong or not.

The more intense, unreasonable or desperate you appear, the less likely the judge will see your point of view, and instead will see an emotional and biased parent. Although it is difficult to keep emotions under control when it comes to custody of your children, this is important when interacting with the judge hearing your case.

Your child custody attorney will help you file a custody modification if a custody order is already in place and submit a qualified opinion about the parental coaching taking place. Courts take parental coaching very seriously due to the devastating effects on children it has for years to come and negative effects on future relationships.

If the judge finds parental coaching taking place, he can order several different options. The child and the parent that is coaching could be ordered into counseling, custody time could be removed, or individual counseling can be requested for the coaching parent, just to name a few options.

Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Child Support Attorney

Suspecting that your child is the victim of parental coaching can be frustrating and scary because of the harmful effects parental coaching has on children. Speaking with a family law attorney can help to figure out your options and how to move forward in this situation. Addressing parental coaching early can help you get back to a better relationship with your child sooner.

Hiring a knowledgeable and compassionate family law attorney will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented.

Contact an experienced Tulsa family law attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma relocation process.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.

A custody modification in Oklahoma based on the other parent’s new partner or spouse’s behavior is analyzed by family law judges on a case-by-case basis. The specific details of the case will decide the outcome. When it comes to custody modification, there are rarely “yes” or “no” answers, most family law attorneys and judges will give you the answer “it depends.”

However, there are guidelines judges use to help determine what the best custody arrangement is for the child, and the best visitation schedule. The first factor considered in a child custody case when asking for a modification for any reason is: Has there been a significant change in circumstances? The second question family court judges will ask is: What is in the best interest of the child?

While each parent believes they know what their child’s best interest is, the elements a family law judge uses are standard across all custody cases, and reflect the morals and policies of the state of Oklahoma.

Custody Modification Due to Substantial Change in Circumstances

As children grow and change, so do custody orders. What was once an agreeable arrangement when your child was 5 may not be as workable when your child is 10 or 15. Schools change, needs change, and parent’s lifestyles and behaviors change. This is the primary reason the family court retains jurisdiction over a child until they are 18. This allows the custody arrangement to continuously be examined and changed if the need arises.

In order for the request for a custody modification to be filed, a substantial change in the child’s or parent’s circumstances must have taken place. This phrase may seem foreign, but it is a legal way of saying that something significant has changed in your life or your child’s life which makes the current custody arrangement ineffective. In order to find a change of circumstances has occurred, the change must be significant and permanent, the change cannot be temporary.

Here are some concrete examples of significant changes in circumstances:

• If the other parent repeatedly fails to pick up your children for scheduled visitation days.
• If your child is diagnosed with a learning disability and the new treatments conflict with parent’s schedules and custody order.
• If the other parent leaves a young child at home by themselves. (May qualify for criminal charges as well.)
• If the other parent starts abusing drugs or alcohol.
• If the other parent becomes disabled or incarcerated.
• If your child moves to a school significantly farther away than their previous school.
• If you or the other parent relocate.
• If your child becomes disabled.
• If your child expresses an opinion of who they want to live with and are at least 12 years old.

These are just a few of the examples that qualify for a change in circumstances. However, just because one of the above may apply to your case, the judge still takes additional factors into consideration that may find a change in circumstances, but may think it in the best interest of the child to keep the current orders in place.

The Best Interest of the Child Standard

The best interest of the child standard has always been used when determining child custody. Okla. Stat. tit. 43 § 112

Oklahoma family law reflects the importance of “frequent and continuing” contact with both parents. In fact, Oklahoma courts prefer to award joint custody to ensure continuous contact with both parents. However, if sole custody is ordered, custody will go to the parent the court believes will most likely encourage a relationship with the other parent.

When custody modification is sought, judges take the motion very seriously as stability is best for children — especially after a divorce. In addition to a substantial change in circumstances, the parent wishing to modify the custody order must show it is in the child’s best interest and that the child will be better off with the change in custody arrangements. Examples include a child having access to better schools, better residential neighborhood, access to important extracurricular or academic interests, or better financial support when one parent loses a job.

When a Modification is Necessary

There are times when you don’t get along with your child’s other parent or don’t necessarily agree with their lifestyle. However, if your child is happy, healthy, sheltered and emotionally supported, a modification typically won’t be ordered. However, there are times when a modification is necessary for the well-being of your child. If you suspect the other parent is bringing people into the house that are physically, emotionally or psychologically harming your child, you need to speak to a child custody attorney immediately.

There are varying degrees of “bad influences.” But if you notice that your child is becoming more withdrawn, has rapid mood changes, or verbalizes ideas and topics that are not age appropriate, you may need to begin the process of custody modification. Trained professionals will help you and your child figure out if harm is being done and how best to handle the situation.

Your child custody attorney is your best resource during this process. It is important to trust your gut in these situations, consulting with a child custody attorney can help ease any worries or help you get started on a custody modification.

Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Child Support Attorney

In order to obtain a custody modification you must be able to show a substantial change in circumstances — The new circumstances cannot have been present during the last custody hearing. You and your child custody attorney must show that your child will be better off, and that it’s in your child’s best interest to modify the current custody order.

Custody modification is important when, as a result of the modification, your child has better access to good schools, better neighborhoods and financial stability. Modification also is necessary when you suspect your child might be in a harmful situation in the other parent’s custody.

Hiring a knowledgeable and compassionate child custody attorney will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented during the custody modification process.

Contact an experienced Tulsa family law attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma relocation process.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.

Many divorce attorneys wish they could teach a class to their clients on how to be the most helpful during a divorce. This is not to say that most clients are difficult. Rather, many do not know what goes into divorce preparation and hearings, and they are not supposed to! Yet there are ways to become the best family law client you can be in Oklahoma.

Clients are there to be supported and assisted through the court system, your divorce attorney is there to be the expert in the process. We discuss the most helpful tips for clients to have when interacting and going through the divorce process with your divorce attorney.

Maintain Reasonable Communication

One of the biggest issues divorce attorneys face when someone is not being the best family law client is either not being able to reach their clients or clients communicating too much. First of all, too much communication is not necessarily a negative. However communication is part of billable hours. So, at the end of the month or billing cycle, many clients are displeased to find their bill higher than they thought.

According to a poll by the American Bar Association, 80 percent of what clients describe as “over-billing” comes from phone and e-mail conversations. It is important to remember, your divorce attorney will only contact you when they really need something. This helps keep your bill down, and helps keep you among those known as a best family law client.

In addition, your bill also will be lower if you attempt to handle little disputes with your spouse on your own. Many divorce attorneys will remind you to pick your battles. An argument over your spouse picking up their belongings late is probably not as important as your spouse hiding a separate bank account.

Be Prepared

If your attorney asks you to bring evidence, completed forms, or printouts of financial documents, make sure you bring those to the next meeting. You are paying for your divorce attorney’s expertise. If you come to a meeting unprepared, this means you may have to have another costly meeting, and will not really make you the best family law client.

If you are trying to prove a point in your case, provide evidence to your divorce attorney that supports this point. Your divorce attorney will not be able to create evidence or read your mind. Document everything that relates to your case and what you are trying to prove.

Listen

This is one of the most difficult issues in a divorce attorney-client relationship. Divorces are emotional, stressful and overwhelming. Many times a divorce attorney will give their client advice and the client doesn’t listen to that advice.

In a high-conflict divorce, sometimes your divorce attorney will instruct you not to contact your spouse, to abide by temporary or permanent custody orders, or not to change the status of any assets. However, because divorce can be so emotional, many times a client will engage in unhelpful conversations with their spouse or refuse to drop their child off for scheduled visitation.

Not listening to your divorce attorney can negatively affect your divorce case. It is difficult for your divorce attorney to argue for more child visitation if you are not following the current custody schedule.

Be On Time

Lastly, time management is extremely important to becoming the best family law client. Be on time paying invoices, arriving for in office appointments, and court hearings. There is nothing more difficult for a divorce attorney than having a client call at the end of the day on a Friday asking for an emergency order when they are three months behind in payments.

Divorce attorneys decided to work in the family law field because they want to help people. Their livelihood is tied directly into their fees they charge. When clients do not pay their bills, this can affect attorney bills such as office rent, office staff salaries, and their own salary.

Keeping up on bills, arriving on time to appointments and court, will ensure that the attorney-client relationship does not become strained.

Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Child Custody Attorney

Hiring a divorce attorney when filing for divorce will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented.

Knowing how to improve and maintain the relationship with your attorney is essential in making sure your case is handled smoothly and minimizes any roadblocks.

Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma relocation process.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.

Animal companions have become a norm in our society. You can usually see plenty of videos on the internet about cats being cats, dogs “talking” like humans, and your best friend posting pictures of their new “fur baby” on social media. But what happens to the family pet after divorce in Oklahoma?

Some couples choose to not have children these days and instead adopt cats, dogs, goats, lizards, etc., as their “babies.” Much like children, when a couple suddenly divorces, the issue as to who gets the family dog or how to divide the numerous cats, becomes serious.

Property Classification

Under Oklahoma law, animals are considered property, as asset to distribute, in a divorce. Many years ago, animals that were adopted were given a “value” of $20, while pure-bred animals were valued best on industry standards.

As time moved on, individuals started noticing the sentient nature of animals and the difficulty of treating them as mere property. Although Oklahoma has not created laws based on the “best interest of the pet” standard, how the court reflects on deciding how to distribute family pet after divorce suggests that this concept of the best interest of the pet, may be considered in future cases.

Marital Settlement Agreement

Your Tulsa divorce attorney will suggest to decide the fate of your family pet outside the courtroom. The court is not equipped to deal with the emotionally charged situation that occurs when a pet is torn from the hands of one owner and placed in the other’s arms.

Since leaving the decision up to the court is not the best route, drafting a marital settlement agreement that identifies which party receives which animal is ideal. Counseling or mediation can be helpful when communicating your side of the issue and why you would like a certain pet.

Divorcing couples have even gone so far as to create “custody schedules” for their beloved animals. A schedule allows for one spouse to have the family pet on certain days, and the other spouse to have the pet on the other days.

Best Interest of the Pet

If you are not able to come to an agreement with your spouse, then the court will decide where to place the pet. Interestingly enough, there are enough cases on the subject that have allowed us to boil down the factors that judges consider when a family pet is at issue.

The factors family courts consider when placing a family pet are:

• Who is the primary caretaker of the pet?
• Which home environment is best for the pet?
• Who can financially care for the pet?
• Who is the pet more attached to?
• Who acquired the pet?
• When was the pet adopted or purchased?
• Which lifestyle best fits the size, characteristics and needs of the pet?

If the pet was owned before marriage, typically the judge will award it to the spouse that first had the pet, unless there is a strong reason why this is not the best place for the pet.

Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Divorce Attorney

Having a Tulsa divorce attorney that is skilled in animal custody cases will help you feel more confident when presenting evidence concerning pet custody decisions, emphasize points that judges are likely to consider when ruling on a pet custody assignment, and walk you through every step of the process.

Hiring an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented.

Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma relocation process.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.

It is very common for couples to own property prior to marriage, but continue to maintain the property during the marriage while keeping it part of your separate property. The issue arises when community funds are used to maintain the property — suddenly the issue becomes whether the property is still considered separate property or whether the community owes the property now, and if its subject for reimbursement of separate property in Oklahoma.

Here we’ll discuss typical treatment of separate property during the marriage, how to keep the property classified as separate property, and what to do if community funds are used for maintenance, or equity building.

Maintaining Separate Property Assets

If your great uncle or grandmother decided to gift their great nieces or nephews or their grandchild stock options prior to the death, in what is considered a “gift,” then this is considered separate property as it applies to assets acquired during the marriage.

What a Tulsa divorce attorney will advise is to make sure you keep this asset separate property, if that is your wish, by following a few steps.

• Keep the property in your name alone.
• Put stock or money in an account with your name only.
• Do not attempt to manage the property, your skill and effort is marital property.
• Put the property or money in a long-term investment account, this way you do not have to manage the property and the interest is your separate property as well.
• Create as much evidence as possible to prove this is your separate property, the burden of proof lies on you to prove that it isn’t owned by the community.

Marital Property Contributing to Separate Property

It is very common for most couples to not know how the separate and marital property system works. As a result, commingling of funds and contributions of community property to separate property can not only muddy the waters, but cause each spouse to go on the attack seeking reimbursement of separate property.

If you have a home that was inherited by a relative, or gifted to your spouse during the marriage, and you contributed to the maintenance, mortgage payment, or any other repairs, you are usually entitled to reimbursement of separate property.

The court will generally use an expert property appraiser to assess the value of the home at the time that the separate property became marital property (when the other spouse started contributing to the previous separate property) and the value of the home upon the filing of the divorce papers.

The difference in the increased equity belongs to the community, and the spouse will be subject to reimbursement of separate property by awarding half of the increased equity. Because the other spouse paid the mortgage, or you used your income (marital property) to pay the mortgage, it is only fair for the community to receive an interest in the property.

Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Divorce Attorney

Having a divorce attorney that is highly skilled will ensure that your assets are properly distributed. If you are concerned that your spouse may not be fully disclosing separate property or contributions to the separate property, you need a Tulsa divorce attorney to make sure you are awarded everything you are entitled to.

Hiring a knowledgeable divorce attorney will ensure the process is expertly conducted and your interests are well represented.

Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney when you need to go through the Oklahoma relocation process.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: (918) 924-5526.