Child Custody

An Oklahoma divorce is stressful for both the parents and their kids. Unfortunately, it is difficult to predict in advance just how divorce affects children.

However, there are some ways that you can inform your children that you will be obtaining a divorce that will help minimize the effect that it will have on them.

When telling your children that you will be getting a divorce in Oklahoma, it is important to assure them that they are loved by both of you and that the divorce is not their fault. Always remember that each person is different when it comes to how divorce affects children.

Prepare Yourself on How Divorce Affects Children

It is important that you cooperate with each other to minimize the negative effect your Oklahoma divorce will have on the children. Before informing your children about your pending divorce, you should talk to each other and decide on the arrangements that will be made for the care of the children.

You should also come to an agreement on the reason that will be given for the dissolution of your marriage. This will avoid the confusion that will take place if they are told two different versions. It will also avoid putting the children in a position to feel that they have to take sides.

Generally, children will have many questions about how it will affect their lives.

For example, where they will live? Who they will live with? Where they will go to school? When they will see the absent parent? You should be prepared to answer those questions when you tell them about the divorce.

If possible, you should inform your children of your pending divorce together. This will convey to them that the divorce is a mutual decision between the two of you. It will also help the children maintain trust in both of you.

When Should You Tell Your Children

You should not tell your children that you are considering a divorce in Oklahoma until you are sure that you are going to go through with it. Telling them beforehand can result in unnecessary stress and insecurity in their lives.

The best time to tell children about the divorce is when you have time to sit down with them and answer all of their questions. It is unwise to tell them before bedtime or before you have an appointment and have to leave, or when you may be interrupted by visitors. The children will need you to be there as long as it takes to provide answers and reassurances.

What to Tell Your Children

When you sit down with the children to tell them that you are getting an Oklahoma divorce, you should make the explanation short. You might tell them that you have decided that you are not happy together and one of you will be moving out.

You should then reassure them that the divorce has nothing to do with them and is a result of an adult decision based on other issues. One of the biggest problems when it comes to how divorce affects children is many kids blame themselves. They then try to fix the problem they perceive as the cause for the divorce, which forces them to grow up far too quickly.

Many children will fantasize about their parents getting back together and things going back to the way it used to be. When telling your children about your upcoming Oklahoma divorce, it would be wise to be clear about the fact that you will not be getting back together.

What to Expect

When parents divorce, change and loss are definitely prominent when it comes to determining how divorce affects children. Each child will take the news of divorce differently.

Some will exhibit attention seeking behavior, become clingy, uncooperative or mischievous; others may be sad or angry or deny that they have any feelings on the subject at all.

The way that you talked to them about the divorce and the reassurances offered can make a difference in how the children react in the long term. Reassurance before, during and after the divorce along with consistent routines that they can rely on will go a long way in helping them cope.

During this difficult time, your children will need a lot of extra attention and affection. Keep the lines of communication open and be prepared to allow them to talk and answer their questions when needed.

Does the Children’s Preference of Who They Prefer to Live With Matter?

If your children are 12 years of age or older, the courts in Oklahoma consider them old enough to form an intelligent preference of who he or she would prefer to live with. Keep in mind that the stress of making the decision could cause significant damage when it comes to how divorce affects children; be sensitive and do not pressure your child one way or another.

The judge may interview the children to help determine if they are mature enough to form a well-reasoned preference. If he or she finds that they are, their preference will be taken into account along with other factors in determining child custody, including what is in their best interest.

Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Divorce Attorney

If you and your spouse have decided to obtain an Oklahoma divorce, a Tulsa divorce attorney has the experience and expertise to guide and represent you through every aspect of filing for and obtaining a divorce, including child custody. Call Divorce of Tulsa Law Office at 918-924-5526 to make an appointment for your low-cost consultation today.

An Oklahoma divorce is a very stressful time for both the parents and the children involved. To deal with the stress and anxiety, some people turn to substance abuse. There are many reasons that divorcing parents should avoid substance abuse.

Impaired Decision Making

There is no controversy over the fact that substance abuse impairs decision-making skills. It causes individuals to make unrealistic decisions without consideration of the consequences.

Along with impaired decision making, substance abuse generally exaggerates emotions, lowers inhibitions and causes poor attention and concentration. Individuals are known to say or do things that they would not normally do when under the influence.

Impairs Parental Roles

Along with impaired decision-making skills, substance abuse impairs parental roles. This may take the form of neglecting to provide for the physical, emotional and developmental needs of children or exhibiting erratic and potentially dangerous behavior.

Although some parents may hide their impairment, their children generally notice a difference in behavior. Parents who engage in substance abuse may stop setting and enforcing rules, stop meeting the children’s basic needs and fail to provide adequate supervision. This can result in the children becoming anxious and fearful, and exhibiting behavioral problems.

Divorcing Spouse Can Use it Against You

If your divorcing spouse becomes aware that of your substance abuse during an Oklahoma divorce, he or she has the right under Oklahoma divorce law to file for an emergency hearing regarding custody or visitation. If the court finds that the children’s safety is in danger and they are likely to suffer irreparable harm, you could lose custody and/or visitation rights.

Can Create Additional Legal Problems

In addition to the fact that you could lose custody or visitation rights to your children, substance abuse can result in even more legal problems for you. An Oklahoma divorce can be obtained by no-fault filing and through judicial finding of fault. Habitual drunkenness is grounds for divorce where one spouse is found at fault.

Whether your spouse files a no fault divorce or alleges fault based on chronic drunkenness, evidence of substance abuse could affect decisions about child custody and visitation. If your substance abuse has depleted marital assets, your partner might have a basis to ask for a greater share of what is left.

If you abuse substances around minor children, or you make poor child care decisions while under the influence, you could also be charged with the crime of child neglect or even child abuse, depending on the severity of your neglect. If convicted, you could face up to a year in prison and fines of up to $5,000.

Other legal problems that could arise include driving under the influence charges, unlawful possession of marijuana, possession of controlled substances, possession or paraphernalia and possession with intent to distribute.

While the fines alone on those charges may be severe, you could also face time in jail or prison, depending on your violation. The imprisonment of the other party in a state or federal penal institution is another at-fault ground for divorce in the state of Oklahoma. Imprisonment, of course, is much easier to prove than habitual drunkenness.

A Poor Alternative to Finding New Sources of Comfort

Substance abuse is a very poor alternative to finding healthy outlets for your stress and anxiety. Substance habits could end up causing you many more personal and legal problems before the divorce is over. Better ways to find sources of comfort include reaching out to family and friends, joining support groups, volunteering for organizations such an animal rescue or shelters, and even adopting a pet.

Some of the alternatives available can provide not only a source of comfort, but satisfaction that you are reaching out and helping your community. Volunteering is an activity that you can share with your children. You can learn new skills, meet new friends, and teach your children a valuable lesson about giving back.

Defines Your Social Context in the Wrong Way

When you engage in substance abuse, generally your behavior changes for the worse. You may become irrational, engage in risky behaviors, have extreme mood swings and become unpredictable. Your friends may desert you, it may be difficult to make new friends and you may even lose your job.

When you engage in substance abuse, your social support may be withdrawn and leave you isolated. In a social context, your actions are what define you.

Costs Money You May Not Have

Engaging in substance abuse during an Oklahoma divorce can cost you an enormous amount of money and can even cost your freedom. For example, you could lose a major portion of your assets, you could be required to pay fines on a variety of charges and you could lose your job.

When you have children and are going through a divorce, it is important that you focus on the best interests of your children first rather than turning to substance abuse for your own needs. You should make sure that you keep their needs at the forefront of all of your decisions.

Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Oklahoma Divorce Attorney

If you or your divorcing spouse are experiencing a substance abuse problem, it is important that you contact a Tulsa divorce attorney to find out what your legal options are in relation to child custody and at-fault divorce. Call Divorce of Tulsa Law Office at 918-924-5526 to schedule your low-cost consultation today.

When parents of different faiths share custody in Oklahoma, the question of which religion the children should follow is often difficult. The answer to faith questions can involve whether parents have joint custody, how well the parents cooperate and whether parents are committed to protecting the child’s best interest as defined by law.

Parents who have joint custody both have the right to make legal decisions for the child in areas including religion, education and health care. If a parent has sole custody, a child may spend time in physical custody of each parent but the parent with sole custody is the primary decision maker with regard to religious practices, education and health care.

Generally, the courts in Oklahoma leave the question of religion and religious activities up to the parents to decide and coordinate. According to the Oklahoma Advisory Guidelines for Standard Visitation that were created as a guide for judges, each parent should be given special consideration to make the children available to attend family functions including religious holidays. When parents of different faiths create a visitation schedule, that specific guideline should be taken into consideration.

Creating a Parenting Agreement

When both parents observe different religions, they should discuss the matter and come up with an agreement on how their separate religions can be included in their children’s lives. Working together as parents to ensure that the best interests of your children are met should be a goal that takes precedence over your conflicts with each other.

Your agreement should allow each parent to share the religious holidays that they find most important with their children and, if they fall on the same dates, to alternate years or split the day between parents. Both parents should have the right to explain the tenets of their religious beliefs to their children. For the children’s well-being, neither parent should speak negatively about the other parents’ religion. To do so is very confusing for the children and, according to experts, could have the effect of confusing the children and causing them to reject both religions.

When You Cannot Agree on Faith Questions

If you cannot reach an agreement that is in the best interests of your children, you may want to consider mediation. A mediator is a neutral third party who is trained to provide guidance and assist in resolving issues. With that assistance, it may be possible to come to an agreement that will resolve your differences of opinion.

In Oklahoma, you have the right to ask the court to appoint a parent coordinator to assist in resolving your religious differences. The coordinator is a neutral third party who assists the parents in resolving issues and has the authority to decide disputed issues in the best interests of the children when faith questions arise.

When Courts Intervene

Many times, the court is asked to decide because the parents cannot come to an agreement. Courts generally must balance the best interests of the children against the parents’ freedom of religion under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Parent have the right to teach their faith to their children. The courts cannot compel parents to take their children to specific religious activities, nor can they prohibit them without a showing of specific harm. Specific harm includes physical, mental, or emotional damage to the body or mind.

If specific harm can be shown, the court will intervene for the well-being and in the best interests of the child. For example, if a parent withholds medical treatment that is detrimental to the child because of his or her religious beliefs, the court can assume custody and order immediate medical treatment to protect the child’s health.

Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Divorce Attorney

The legal issues surrounding religious differences between parents are complex. If you cannot reach an agreement, you should contact a Tulsa divorce attorney for assistance. Divorce of Tulsa Law Office offers low-cost consultations on child custody issues. Call 918-924-5526 today to schedule an appointment.

Oklahoma courts typically rule that children should keep their father’s last name after a divorce, so long as the father maintained positive involvement in the children’s lives. Nevertheless, your child’s surname can be changed by a petition to the court after a Tulsa divorce, if a judge finds it to be in the child’s best interest.

Oklahoma courts, however, will consider a number of different factors to determine if the name change is in the child’s best interest. Among the factors to be considered are:

• How long the child has used the surname.

• The relationship between the child and the parent requesting the name change.

• Whether or not the child needs to identify with a new family due to a remarriage or adoption.

The Tulsa divorce court will weigh these factors against the relationship the child has with the parent whose surname he (or she) currently shares. For example, you may be able to change your child’s last name if the biological father (or mother) has terminated his (or her) parental rights; or if he (or she) shows no interest in maintaining a relationship with the child, has been abusive to the child, and/or has demonstrated criminal behavior.

Ultimately, the court has to consider it to be in the best interest of the child to grant a request for a surname change. In most cases, you will not be allowed to change your child’s surname after a divorce in Tulsa, unless there is a very good reason. Additionally, it is important to note that a name change will not affect any of the obligations either parent has in terms of child support, child custody, visitation, or alimony; nor will it affect the child’s inheritance rights.

Initial Consultation: Tulsa Divorce Attorney

To find out how the Divorce of Tulsa Law Office can assist in your Tulsa family law matter, call us today.

Alternately, send the Tulsa divorce lawyer a question using the “Ask a Lawyer” form on this page. Enter your e-mail address or phone number and we’ll get in touch as soon as possible.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: 918-924-5526.

If your spouse disobeys a Tulsa family court decree, you can have the order enforced by filing a lawsuit asking the court to hold your spouse in contempt of a court order.

An enforcement lawsuit can be initiated to force your spouse to obey Tulsa family court orders pertaining to the following:

• Child support.

• Medical obligations.

• The division of property in a divorce decree.

• Visitation.

• Spousal support.

Enforcing a Tulsa Family Court Order

A Tulsa family court decree will be enforceable if the language it contains is clear, specific and unambiguous.

For a visitation order, for example, this means that it must specify when the party with custody must surrender the children to the other party, and when that party must return the children.  In addition, it must specify where the exchange is to take place and the exact length of the visitation period.

Likewise, for child support, the order must specify the amount to be paid, the date upon which it must be paid, to whom it must be paid, the date upon which payments are to commence,  and the date upon which payments cease.

If the language contained in the court order is not clear, specific, and unambiguous, a Tulsa family court will clarify the order and allow your spouse ample time to comply.

The Consequences of Disobeying a Tulsa Family Court Decree

If your spouse disobeys a Tulsa family court decree and is held in contempt of a court order, he or she will face the following consequences:

• An order may be given to his or her employer to withhold income from his or her paycheck.

• Federal and state tax returns may be intercepted to force compliance.

• He or she may have liens placed on property.

• His or her name may be included on the Oklahoma Child Support Enforcement’s Most Wanted list.

• He or she may have his or her driver’s license, professional licenses, recreational licenses and/or his or her business permits suspended.

• He or she may have his/her car, motorcycle, boat, airplane, or truck registrations suspended.

• He/she may be denied a passport.

• He or she may be sentenced to jail time.

In addition, unless your spouse has good cause for disobeying a Tulsa family court decree, he or she will be held liable to you for all court and legal costs spent on enforcing the court order.

 Tulsa Family Law Attorney: Low-cost Initial Consultation

To find out how the Divorce of Tulsa Law Office can assist in your Tulsa family law matter, call us today.

Alternately, send the Tulsa divorce lawyer a question using the “Ask a Lawyer” form on this page. Enter your e-mail address or phone number and we’ll get in touch as soon as possible.

For a low-cost confidential consultation, call now: 918-924-5526.