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    • Divorce of Tulsa Law Office

    Divorce of Tulsa Law Office

    Child Custody

    Tulsa custody hearingIf you need to attend a Tulsa custody hearing, chances are you and the other parent are not in agreement on a custody arrangement. Knowing you are going to a courtroom to present your case as to why your custody schedule is in the best interests of your child can be overwhelming.

    Many people have never set foot in a courtroom and spoken on record in front a judge. Knowing that you will be in an unfamiliar environment, advocating on your own behalf in hopes the court will listen, while also having to face the other parent can be downright terrifying.

    We offer some great advice on preparing for Tulsa your custody hearing, so you know exactly what to expect and how to present yourself in a professional and reasonable manner.

    How to Prepare

    • Understand Oklahoma’s Best Interests Statute. Oklahoma determines child custody based on the best interests of the child. The presumption the court starts with is that it is best for the child to have both parents involved. Judges award custody based on the parent that will foster “frequent and continuing contact” with the other parent.It is best to emphasize that you will support your child having contact with the other parent and will encourage communication. It is important to remember the court does not show preference over awarding custody to a mother over a father and vice versa. In addition, courts do not award custody based on educational plans, for example private versus public school.
    • Create a Parenting Plan. Creating a parenting plan with several different alternative schedules will communicate to the judge that not only are you reasonable, you really want what is best for your child. Begin by keeping notes on your child’s schedule and your schedule.What activities does your child wish to continue attending? What time does school start? What is a typical routine for your child?Consistency is important for children, so trying to maintain a consistent schedule is key.
    • Prepare Witnesses. You may or may not want to bring witnesses with you; however, if the other parent has brought your character into question it is always a good idea. Witnesses who can speak to your relationship with your child, your dependability, and your reasonableness is helpful. Examples include your child’s therapist, sport coaches, teachers, and neighbors.
    • Prepare Your Evidence. If you are bringing any evidence, such as declarations, doctor’s reports, social worker evaluations, etc., you need to bring three copies: one for yourself, one for the court, and one for the other parent. In addition, make sure if you are bringing any pictures, video recordings, or audio files, to have them cued up and ready to be played.The evidence you present should be factual and relevant to the Tulsa custody hearing. Be sure to emphasize why this evidence speaks to the best interests of your child.

    These are the primary ways to prepare for your Tulsa custody hearing. Here are a few more ways to prepare.

    Additional Ways to Prepare

    • Attend other hearings to get a feel for what to expect and what your judge will be like.
    • Always arrive early; it is better to be over prepared than rushing at the last minute.
    • Try to dress professionally; this is an important event and most judges appreciate the respect litigants show when they take the time to treat their courtroom seriously.
    • Do not get sidetracked on irrelevant emotional issues. Just stick to the facts when presenting your case.
    • Prepare questions for the other parent’s witnesses. You may need to “cross examine” the other parent’s witnesses to either refute or prove the facts they are presenting.
    • If you don’t know the answer to a question, it is better to say “I don’t know” than to make up an answer or answer in overly broad terms. You are not penalized for not being able to answer the judge’s questions and it will not make you look like an uncaring parent if you can’t answer a certain question.

    Initial Consultation with a Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

    Preparing for a Tulsa custody hearing, especially if you have never attended one before, can be overwhelming. Having an advocate on your side who understands the law and the process can help ease your mind and prep you for not only a custody hearing, but also the entire custody process.

    Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney for help with child custody and expert representation for your divorce.

    For a initial, confidential consultation, call 918-924-5526 today.

    Child to testify in custody after divorce in Tulsa attorneyWhen custody is at issue in a divorce, or when unmarried parents separate, the process can be difficult not only on parents, but also on the children of the couple. If parents aren’t able to decide on custody, a court will decide for them.  This can be stressful and create worry for both parents, especially when it comes to decide whether a judge will make a child to testify in Tulsa.

    Wondering who will get primary custody — both physical and legal custody — and how parenting schedule is determined, can be a long overwhelming process. One of the issues in this type of custody determination is whether your children will testify before the court.

    Typically, the reason for your child to testify at a custody hearing is to express a preference as to which parent they would like to reside with.

    Before a child can testify, there are several factors that must be met first. The court has broad authority to decide whether a child can testify when considering these factors.

    Factors The Court Considers For A Child To Testify

    • Child’s Best Interests. If the judge determines that it is in the child’s best interests to testify and express their preference, then the judge has the authority to allow it.
    • Intelligent Expression. The judge will decide whether he or she believes that the child is capable of forming an intelligent expression of opinion when it comes to preference.  In Oklahoma, the law presumes that any child 12 years of age or older is capable of expressing an intelligent opinion.
    • Judgement and Maturity. The child must demonstrate that they are capable of good judgment, and not influenced by either parent. In addition, ability to demonstrate maturity and understanding of hearing and purpose is important.
      • An example of an immature expression is “I want to live with Mom because she doesn’t make me do my homework.”
      • However an example of a mature expression is “I want to live with Mom because I feel safe and she supports my participation in my sports team.”

    Once the judge determines that a child shows good judgement, maturity, and intelligent expression of opinion, the next steps include how the child testifies. There are two primary ways the child can express their preference to the court.

    Appoint A Guardian ad Litem

    Unlike an attorney appointed for a child in a high-conflict custody case whose sole duty is to represent the child in court proceedings, call witnesses, and cross examine witnesses the parents call in the case, a guardian at litem serves a different purpose.

    The guardian ad litem is the child’s advocate, “friend,” and investigator. This role helps determines what the child’s best interests is and investigates, much like a social worker, the child’s home life, school life, and family life.

    Often, this is necessary because the children involved in the custody dispute is being influenced by the parents. This way, the decision is taken out of the child’s hands while also considering the child’s preference as well.

    The guardian ad litem can recommend to the judge, after all investigation is concluded and after discussing the child’s preference, what they believe would be the best custody arrangement.

    Speak Privately With The Judge

    If a guardian ad litem is not appointed, then the judge will usually still speak to the child in private. The judge will take into consideration the child’s best interests as well as the child’s preference.

    By speaking to the child in private, the child does not have to fear being labeled as “disloyal” to either parent. The parents are reminded that while their child’s preferences may be taken into consideration, it is ultimately the court’s decision.

    While your child is not required to testify at a custody hearing — and typically does not occur due to the pressure and stress testifying puts on a child — there is a possibility that it could happen.

    Being prepared and openly talking to your child about their preferences, while remaining supportive, is best when preparing for a custody hearing.

    If your child expresses a preference of remaining with you rather than the other parent, make sure you discuss this with your family law attorney so they can make sure the process is conducted properly and without coercion.

    Initial Consultation With A Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

    Preparing for a custody hearing can be stressful. Knowing that your child may be asked to testify can be even more stressful.

    Speaking to a Tulsa family attorney can explain the process, how to have a guardian ad litem appointed — if necessary — and the type of questions asked by the judge to your child, how long the process takes, and if your child qualifies to testify.

    Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney for help with child custody and expert representation for your divorce.

    For a initial, confidential consultation, call 918-924-5526 today.

    custodial parent movedIf your child’s custodial parent moved away from Tulsa, Oklahoma without your consent, you have legal rights.

    A divorce court in Oklahoma maintains jurisdiction over matters of child custody and support until the child or children is 18.

    That means that long after the divorce is finalized, there are still matters that can be taken up before the court by filing a petition asking the court to hear the matter.

    Relocation Requirements

    Relocation is a hot button topic in child custody battles. If a custodial parent moved, it is much more likely that the non-custodial parent will see their child much less often.

    Because continuing contact with both parents is in the child’s best interests, the Oklahoma legislature has enacted a statute requiring that a parent who wishes to relocate more than 75 miles away must notify the other parent of the proposed relocation approximately two months before the move, or within 10 days of learning of the move. (Okla. Stat. tit. 43 § 112.3)

    The notice must contain a number of things. It must contain contact information, the reason for the move, and a proposed plan for continued visitation.

    The purpose of the statute is to give the other parent time to object. The parent has 30 days to file a formal objection with the court.

    Time Is of the Essence: Contact an Attorney Quickly

    If a parent has moved without issuing the relocation notice as the law requires, the other parent may file a petition before the court to have the child returned.

    Failure to notify of a child’s relocation will work against the custodial parent in a hearing requesting a modification of an existing custody or visitation order.

    Furthermore, the custodial parent may be required to pay the petitioning parent’s reasonable costs and attorney fees incurred in the filing and presenting of the petition before the court.

    If the non-relocating parent fails to object by failing to file a petition seeking an order to prevent the relocation within 30 days of receipt of the notice, the relocation will be deemed to be authorized by the non-relocating parent.

    Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Child Custody Attorney

    Your choice of an Oklahoma divorce attorney is critical, especially in the event of a Tulsa custody dispute. Before you retain our family law attorneys, you are invited to have a initial, confidential, no-obligation consultation to help you determine whether our family law services can meet your particular needs.

    For a initial consultation with a Tulsa child custody attorney about your concerns, call the Divorce Law Office of Tulsa today at 918-924-5526.

    Tulsa custody disputeChildren suffer in a high-conflict Tulsa custody dispute. When spouses going through a divorce in Oklahoma argue excessively, or use their children as pawns to manipulate the other spouse, children suffer. Their anxiety levels skyrocket, they act out if older, exhibit regressive behaviors such as bed-wetting if younger, have trouble sleeping, develop somatic symptoms such as stomachaches, and their grades start to drop if they are in school.

    Sometimes, it feels as though there is nothing we can do to make it any easier, especially if the spouse or ex-spouse is highly combative. But there are things we can do to reduce tension in a high-conflict Tulsa custody dispute.

    Shield Your Children During a Tulsa Custody Dispute

    First and foremost, shield the children as much as possible from the conflict that often happens during a Tulsa custody dispute.

    It is imperative that spouses refrain from arguing in front of the children, whether those arguments take place in person or by telephone. A child will know that you are yelling at their father when you are yelling at someone on the phone. Children feel torn and upset when parents fight.

    When not in contact with the other parent, it is important that each parent refrain from speaking badly about the other parent. Save those conversations for times when your children cannot hear you.

    Again, it is unfair to expect a child to take sides. And speaking badly about the other parent is in essence a conscious or subconscious ploy to get a child to side with you.

    Negotiate Through Your Attorney

    During a high-conflict Tulsa custody dispute, avoid speaking to your ex if at all possible. If you must communicate directly with an ex, try to do so in writing rather than in person or over the phone.

    In writing, you can calm down and think things through. You can take a measured tone in your writing that will go farther in achieving a calm and fair dissolution than a verbal dispute.

    Remember though, that if you write to your ex, that document could be used later in court. So, try to keep all negotiations and communications strictly through your attorney. You may have to pay a bit more for this, but in the long run things will run more smoothly.

    Have your attorney develop a parenting plan with your ex’s attorney. Know who has the children and when. Know how responsibilities are delegated in the plan.

    As part of that plan, try to arrange to avoid face-to-face custody and visitation exchanges of the children. If one parent can drop off at school and the other pick up from school, this eliminates the possibility of an argument between parents during the exchange.

    Develop the parenting plan and then follow it. If the parenting plan is not working, let your attorney know as soon as possible.

    Develop Other Interests — Let Go

    Start to move on in your life. It is easy to get stuck in the pain, grief, and anger of an Oklahoma divorce.

    Instead, start to think about reweaving your future. Develop other interests. Take a class, start a yoga or meditation practice, or run or walk daily with friends.

    Exercise and outside activities will help you feel better, especially when things are stressful. This allows you time and some space to breathe and cool off on a regular basis.

    Finally, pick your battles and let your attorney wage the war. Let the small stuff go if possible.

    Hopefully, this will allow both parents to experience more breathing room during a Tulsa custody dispute. Divorce is a process on many levels: legal, financial, emotional, and personal.

    Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Child Custody Attorney

    Your choice of an Oklahoma divorce attorney is critical, especially in the event of a Tulsa custody dispute. Before you retain our family law attorneys, you are invited to have a initial, confidential, no-obligation consultation to help you determine whether our family law services can meet your particular needs.

    For a initial consultation with a Tulsa child custody attorney about your concerns, call the Divorce Law Office of Tulsa today at 918-924-5526.

    Oklahoma courtsOklahoma courts encourage divorcing spouses to work together to resolve all issues in their Tulsa divorce, including all matters of child custody and visitation. Usually, if parents can work together amicably, the parties are happier with the resultant visitation agreement hammered out between them.

    Parents often have differing values and ideas regarding what holidays are important to them and their children. For some parents, spending Christmas together or with extended family may be very important. For others, Easter may be a time for the extended family to band together.

    In all cases, it is likely, that there may be some highly charged emotional feelings regarding holidays. When parents cannot agree, the court will step in and make the decision for them.

    Factors That Oklahoma Courts Consider in Determining Holiday Visitation

    Oklahoma courts have broad discretion in determining visitation. In making decisions regarding visitation, the courts will turn to the best interests of the child.

    It is always in the child’s best interests to have frequent and continued contact with both parents, even if that contact is supervised. In determining a holiday schedule, it is likely that the court will look at a number of factors including the age of the child or children involved.

    For younger children – those under the age of five – the emphasis in any kind of visitation may be more on developmental care. The court may also look at the desires of older children, school schedules, and the child’s relationships with other siblings and as well as with other extended family members.

    Additional Considerations

    Often times Oklahoma courts will develop a rotating holiday visitation schedule based on alternating odd and even years. So if you spend Christmas with your child this year, your ex may spend Christmas with your child the following year.

    It is typical for a child to spend Father’s Day and Mother’s Day with their respective parents.

    Other holidays subject to the schedule might include: Easter, summer break, Christmas break, spring break, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and July 14 as well as the parents’ and child’s birthdays.

    Low-cost Initial Consultation: Tulsa Child Custody Attorney

    Your choice of an Oklahoma divorce attorney is critical, especially regarding any issues about child custody in Tulsa. Before you retain our family law attorneys, you are invited to have a initial, confidential, no-obligation consultation to help you determine whether our family law services can meet your particular needs.

    For a initial consultation with a Tulsa child custody attorney about your concerns, call the Divorce Law Office of Tulsa today at 918-924-5526.

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